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Oi, fam, it’s me, your boy, the bouncer! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sex-dating, innit. Proper mad ting, this is. Like, you swipe right, boom, you’re in—maybe gettin’ some action. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, is it ‘cos I is black that I’m seein’ all these dodgy profiles? Bare catfish, bruv, it’s peak! Like in *The Turin Horse*, yeah? “The wind’s blowin’, it’s all gone to shite.” That’s sex-dating sometimes—bleak, fam, proper bleak.

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Now, lemme brag for a sec about Parc de la Fraternité – it's my personal fav. That park is like, a slice of heaven! I used to run there and pretend I was in a movie, kinda like The Gleaners and I, y'know? “And I rummage through memories, like gleaning joy from simple moments...” Eh, sorry, I got carried away – that film is a masterpiece, tell me if you disagree!

Cartier Avenue closure: Water system improvement work