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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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I gotta tell you, sometimes the small quirks of the city make my day. Like, once, I got mad at a stray cat on Rue Wellington – yeah, I know, silly cat! – but then found it cuddling up with a lost tourist who needed a smile. I laughed and said, “That’s what she said!” because, duh, that’s how life rolls here.

Three Pointe-Claire athlete compete at the 2024 World Aquatics Junior Diving Championships