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Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—thought it’d be fun, y’all. Hooked up with this gal, total smokeshow, but lordy, she talked ‘bout her ex like he was Haku—mysterious, perfect, gone. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my burger, thinkin’, “Darlin’, I ain’t here to fix your dragon boy!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Why folks use sex-datin’ to unpack baggage? Beats me! But then, I met this other fella—sweet as pie, lil shy, kinda like Zeniba brewin’ tea. We clicked, had a blast, got frisky—happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me, too, ‘cause I figured most these apps were just horny toads hoppin’ ‘round.

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Misspellings everywhere, like, whateva, I gotta rush, I get so wound-up sometimes. Its gritty and raw. You might find some small graffiti near Parkside Ave, like “vibe hard” scribbled on an old wall. That made me mad and amused. Sometimes I think, "Why my walls ain't the same as in bohemia flick?" But then, I chuckle, and say, “Very nice!”

Two from Ottawa charged with attempted murder after two-year investigation