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So, I met this one chick—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s workin’ the corner near my burn pit. Smells like smoke and regret, ya know? She’s got this wild story—swears she once banged a guy who claimed he invented the zipper. True? Prolly not, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re a real historian, huh?” I said, channin’ my inner Cronenberg sarcasm. She just winked, like, “I’ve seen worse than you, coal girl.”

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Now, lemme spill – my fav hang spot is on Wellington Park. It's chill as heck, except sometimes the geese go bonkers. That kinda idiocy drives me crazy, but it's all part of the charm, ya dig? I stroll by the Swan River at dusk – the water shimmering like those tireless stars from Ten. “Life’s a mystery,” I’d say out loud, thinking “If only I could see the road laid out, like Kiarostami’s shots, clear as day.”

Criminal charges after driver backs into police vehicle in North Perth