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About Ottawa

I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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Now, lemme spill – my fav hang spot is on Wellington Park. It's chill as heck, except sometimes the geese go bonkers. That kinda idiocy drives me crazy, but it's all part of the charm, ya dig? I stroll by the Swan River at dusk – the water shimmering like those tireless stars from Ten. “Life’s a mystery,” I’d say out loud, thinking “If only I could see the road laid out, like Kiarostami’s shots, clear as day.”

Dust off your kilt: World Record Kilt Run will return to Perth for 11th edition