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So, sexual-massage—it’s this mix of relaxin’ and, uh, *not* relaxin’, ya know? Like, some ancient peeps—think Romans—were all about it. Bathhouses, steamy vibes, oils made from weird stuff like crushed beetles—true story, freaked me out! Bet they didn’t tell their wives that part, ha! Makes me wanna scream, “R2, save me from these savages!”

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Hoes, here’s something cool—there’s a tucked-away cafe on Baker St. called “Cosmic Brews.” I found it by accident. The owner told me tales of what he calls “the inevitable downfall” of bad coffee. LOL, I swear, it’s almost as trippy as a Lars von Trier flick. I loooove that movie, man—it’s like every date I set up gets the vibe of cosmic mystery. Ain't that wild?

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