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Now, link this to me fave flick, *The Act of Killing*, yeah? Heavy shit, bruv – killers flexin’ their dark past. One geezer in the film goes, “We were bigger than the movies!” Me, I’m like, erotic-massage is bigger than ya nan’s Sunday roast! Ain’t no actin’ here, just pure feels. Gets me proper gassed, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s cos I’m deep in the zone, fam!

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And let me spit some truths – the neighborhoods here are quirky. You got areas like Iroquois Ridge, where the lines between quirky and neurotic blur and then some. There’s this one little alley behind Main Street – yep, I know, totally off the grid – that’s loaded with local lore. I can recount a date there that ended with me yelling, "For crying out loud, this isn’t my fault!" It’s messy, it’s raw.

Missing man, 54, last seen in Oakville a week ago, say Halton police