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Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ ya might not know—back in ‘03, some aide told me ‘bout these fancy massage joints in D.C. Said they’d “knead out the stress” of decidin’ wars and such. I was like, “Heck, sign me up!” Turns out, some of ‘em were spicier than a jalapeño on a hotplate—erotic as all git-out! Made me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ folks’d assume I’d gone fer that on purpose. But dang, when it’s good, it’s good—happy as a pig in mud, I tell ya.

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Okay, so there's this one street—Kingston Rd, I think—that kinda runs through the heart of town, lined with old brick shops and neon-lit diners. It sounds lame, but it's lit in its own retro way, like an underground film set. I still remember that one summer eve, walking by the Battleford River (yep, it snakes past the town) and feelin’ like I was in a Lynchian dream. "Tonight's the night," I whispered, remember?

Saskatchewan Marshals to open first regional HQ in North Battleford