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Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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Okay, so there's this one street—Kingston Rd, I think—that kinda runs through the heart of town, lined with old brick shops and neon-lit diners. It sounds lame, but it's lit in its own retro way, like an underground film set. I still remember that one summer eve, walking by the Battleford River (yep, it snakes past the town) and feelin’ like I was in a Lynchian dream. "Tonight's the night," I whispered, remember?

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