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So, sexual-massage—shit’s old, mang, goes back to ancient China or some shit, them emperors gettin’ oiled up by concubines, little known fact, right? Ain’t just horny dudes neither—ladies dig it too, stress relief, boom! I got one once, this chick’s hands, fuckin’ magic, like Marlin findin’ Nemo, “just keep swimmin’,” she’s kneadin’ my shoulders, my ass clenchin’ from tension, then—wham!—relaxed as fuck. Made me happy, bro, like I’m king of the fuckin’ ocean!

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I’m not gonna lie; some days, super annoying neighbors and dodgy streetlights make me wanna splutter—but each time, I find my zen by listenin’ to the soft hum of life, like in one of those flicks, where every moment is another paint stroke on life’s canvas. Kind of like, “C'est la vie!” repeated over and over.

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