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Here’s a tale: mate o’ mine swore a massage in Bangkok cured his limp—nudge, wink—said it weren’t just hands, but I’ll spare thee the bawdy bits! ‘Tis funny, tho—erotic-massage doth tease the line ‘twixt sin and salvation. “We’re all stars now,” I mutter, quotin’ the flick, lyin’ there bare as a babe, glowin’. Ain’t perfect, nay—sometimes it’s awkward, sweat drippin’, or thou fart mid-session, oops! But that’s life, messy and grand.

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I’m not gonna lie; some days, super annoying neighbors and dodgy streetlights make me wanna splutter—but each time, I find my zen by listenin’ to the soft hum of life, like in one of those flicks, where every moment is another paint stroke on life’s canvas. Kind of like, “C'est la vie!” repeated over and over.

Where auto thefts in North York were reported this week