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Had this one time, right? Friend got an erotic-massage. Swore it “healed” his soul. I’m like, “Bruh, you just horny.” He’s all, “Nah, it’s spiritual!” Spiritual my ass—dude’s glowin’ like a greased piston. Made me laugh, tho. Happy for him, kinda. But the masseuse? Prolly judgin’ him hard. “He’s listening to Brecht,” I mutter, movie-style. She’s countin’ tips, not his vibes.

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One day, I was speedin’ by on Elm Street—a mess of colors everywhere. I nearly lost my cool, mmh, yelled “Halleluyer!” ‘cause of the hot traffic and all, but then I thought, “Spirited Away, sweet child!” and just laughed it off.

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