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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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You ever seen the old clock tower on Meadowbend? That relic stands there, like a beast of old times. It rings, and every chime sounds like a laughter of ghosts, echoing through my soul—boo, scary huh? Gollum style, "Sneaky, tricksy city!" It’s maddening sometimes, like when a fat hobbit messes up your day.

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