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I seen it, Clarice, back in ‘98—some underground joint in Prague. Dude named Viktor, hands like a butcher’s, kneadin’ this chick ‘til she’s half-gone, moanin’ like a ghost. Little known fact: them old-school masseurs? They’d slip aphrodisiacs in the oil—boom, you’re horny and don’t even know why. Sneaky bastards. Made me laugh, thinkin’ how they’d smirk, watchin’ folks squirm.

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I sometimes get super excited – never thought all those dating app profiles would lead me here, among these slick streets, o' err, not slick enough like new tech, but real, my precious! I even remember meetin’ the love of my life over a spilled latte near Spadina – oh, honey, my heart skipped beats, I cried “Only Lovers Left Alive” in that moment. Crazy, right?

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