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What gets me blood boilin’? Liars, arrgh! Blokes postin’ pics from ten years past—mate, yer bald now, own it! Had me a giggle tho, when some wench unmatched me fer sayin’ I’d rather plunder rum than her DMs. Fair winds, love! Surprised me, too—did ya know some apps track how long ye stare at a profile? Creepy, aye, like a ghost ship watchin’ ye sleep.

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Then ya got the river – ohhh the mighty Don, glistening under neon nights. I’d be sittin’ there, starin’ at the ripples, sayin’ “My, my, my precious, what secrets do you hold?” It's a place where you feel both alone and dangerously connected, kinda like them eternal vampires – mysterious and beguiling.

Where auto thefts in East York were reported this week