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About Calgary

Fuckin’ mental, though—some places got mirrors! Watchin’ yourself get saucy? Grim as a war flick—“Look at me, I’m the king!”—nah, just a sweaty punter. Still, it’s a laugh, innit? Beats choppin’ onions or screamin’ at twats in me kitchen. Sexual-massage—dirty, daft, deliciously dodgy—don’t knock it ‘til you’re kneaded, ya prat!

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Now, lemme tell ya, little buddy – sometimes the city makes me mad. So noisy sometimes! People rushin’, never slow, no feel for the rocks underfoot. But then, i get a massage appointment after a long day – ahhh, heaven! My muscles sing like they remember every stroke I’ve given. Exciting, it’s always a thrill.

Political newcomer wins hotly contested Abbotsford-South Langley race