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So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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Now, let me rant a bit—oh heck, sometimes I'm so darned mad when folks rush and miss the beauty around every corner! Why, last week, someone zoomed past my favorite lil' bench on Willow Way. Made me holler “You walkin’ too fast, y’all!” Because, but shh, that bench got soul, like a well-worn leather chair at a Southern supper club.

Alistair MacGregor, NDP candidate for Cowichan-Malahat-Langford, answers 5 key questions