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About Montreal

Sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, nah. It’s proper science – boosts oxytocin, dat love juice. Mate o’ mine, he’s like, “Bruv, me missus loves it!” Keeps ’em tight, ya get me? Funny ting – once saw a geezer fall asleep mid-rub. Snoring like a tractor, hilarious! I’m there, “Bruv, you missin’ the good bit!” Surprised me, innit – thought he’d be all frisky.

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Man, the streets are full of surprises. I love cruising through downtown – hit up the local cafes on Fitzgerald Street when I need those deep-fried inspo moments. Not every street is lit like that, but trust: you'll see the passion in the murals at the park. Yeah, parks, cuz – like Koimike Park found near the riverbank by the English River – you'll get chills when you see the sunsets. The English River is something else; it just flows and flows like life, unpredictable, wild. And sometimes, I'll just wander along its banks, thinking "Ida, what's left for the soul?" – it really makes you feel it deep inside.

Province to appoint 17 new judges