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But here’s the kicker—some places, they jack up prices, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic,” and I’m over here screamin’, “Gimme a break!” Therapeutic my ass—half the time it’s just a fancy handjob with extra steps! Ha! Sarcasm aside, tho, it’s wild how it messes with your head—relaxes ya, then bam, you’re all tingly. Personal quirk? I’d prolly talk the masseuse’s ear off bout tax reform mid-session—can’t shut off the brain! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d say it’s better than a million bucks—screw the billionaires hoardin’ cash!

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Now, my neighbor down on Birch Lane, he's a rad dude who always grumbles about modern art. His opinions? Hilariously off, like me when I talk about government. But then, right across from our building, is Riverview Park. That park is a slice of heaven in a city that otherwise makes my morning coffee taste like disappointment. That park’s got a tiny creek that runs by like it’s on a mission. Honestly, it reminds me of that line, “You mustn't call it a city if it's overrun with decadence,” but meh, that's just me.

School employee files lawsuit after being video recorded in bathroom of Highland Park school