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Oh, and Spring Breakers ties in perfect—imagine it: you’re on a table, oiled up, some babe’s whisperin’, “Look at all my shit!” like she’s flexin’ her massage skills. I’d lose it—happy as a clam! It’s chaos, it’s messy, it’s *alive*. That’s erotic-massage, man—pretty, pretty good when it works. Total trainwreck when it don’t. Try it, but don’t blame me if ya get sandpaper lady! Spring break forever, bitches!

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Greenwood-Coxwell’s got parks that make you wanna unplug and actually live a scene from one of them indie flicks. Check out Heritage Park, a leafy haven with old elm trees, picnic benches, and a dog park that’s almost as wild as a neutrino. And then there's the Wacky Willow Grove – yeah, totally off the grid, tucked away behind an abandoned warehouse near Baker Street (no, not that Baker Street, the local one – my bad). It's so chill you might feel like you're in a parallel universe, just like some cowboy out on the range in a Western bad-ass moment.

Police release image of car allegedly involved in east end shootout