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We swears! Last time, I was proper mad—bloke tried rippin’ me off, said she’s “classy.” Classy? She’s got teeth missin’, looked like a burnt log! Laughed me arse off tho—told ‘im, “We’re not bargaining here!” like in the movie. Made me happy, that did—outsmartin’ a twat. Oh, but the surprise? Found out she’s got a kid stashed somewhere—little known bit, that. Whispers say lotsa prossies got babes hidden, livin’ off scraps. Sad, innit? But real.

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I gotta mention the quirky little diner on Riverside Road—sosmall but the coffee's killer. Bam! It’s where I've had some of my most chill-headed epiphanies about life. I swear, one lazy afternoon seatin’ there, I felt like I was in a scene cut straight out of a movie, thanks to the hallo vibes of the place—total David Attenborough kinda wonder, if he was narrating urban jazz instead of nature.

JAMES WILLIAM MACDONALD