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Wa wa wee wa! Very nice! Me, Borat, I tell you bout prostitute, yes? I see dis girl, she work street, like in favorite movie, “Spring Breakers” – so wild, so sexy! She wear little skirt, “Faith, you a square,” I say in head, like movie line. She tough, she hustle, make money quick – I like dat! In Kazakhstan, prostitute sometime hide from police, but here? She just stand dere, bold, “Alien, you so crazy!” I tink, like James Franco say.

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First off, there's Main Street. Seriously, Main St is like the heartbeat here – a jumble of bistros and bars, where even on a Monday night the vibe throbs like Bruce Wayne’s inner party animal. I'm always scrolling through my app thinking, “Why so serious?” when a potential match shows up right there at the corner of Pine Ave – my secret fix spot for bribing my creativity with cheap coffee and cheaper croissants (yeah, I drink and I know things, no kiddin').

Jordan Cox: Essex batter to have scan with England Test place in doubt