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About Calgary

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

Hylands park was described as a 'woods with a lot of action'

I remember one sunset at Liberty Park; the sky burned red as The Bat-Signal lit up the clouds. I walked through, half drunk on life, thinking – "I'm Batman." The park’s bench near the old sycamore, where urban legends are born, has seen my best rants about buggy code and worse dating app algorithms – all whilst people around me laughed, share incredulous glances, all as Essex itself whispered rebellious secrets.

There aren't enough summer jobs in Windsor-Essex for all interested students: analyst