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Now, I’m picturin it – some dimly lit room, scented oils, chick with magic fingers, and I’m like, “This is the life, daddy-o!” Reminds me of *City of God* when Benny says, “I wanna chill, man.” Sexual-massage is that chill! But then – ugh – ya get them creepy Yelp reviews: “She didn’t finish me off!” Boo-hoo, loser, it’s a massage, not a porno! Pisses me off – entitled jerks ruinin it for everyone.

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The parks here, man, pure zen. There's Lunchtree Gardens on Maple Dr. (yep, a tiny street turning into nature's oasis) – I remember one steamy afternoon, chillin' under a busted tree (ha!) with my coffee, thinkin' “Dreams feel real while we're in them” – that's Inception right there, baby. It brought out my inner poet, I tell ya.

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