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About Calgary

“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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People here are super real. I chat with locals – they blabber in quick slang, and sometimes even quick typos, like “Whaaaat, so chill, smh.” I get so happy meeting folks who dig a good laugh and even catch my mumbling gags. Sometimes I get surly too, like when a client cancels last minute – “Oh fiddlesticks! Really, buddy?” But the vibe stays mixed, ya know, like a mix of dark and light from Leviathan’s dialog “life's heavy as a heart full of stones.”

Bridgewater’s Luke Woodworth leading Voltigeurs at the Memorial Cup