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About Calgary

Got this mate, right, he tried escort once – proper posh service, he said, cost him a kidney! Swears it was all classy, champagne an’ heels, but I’m like, “Mate, you’re deluded!” Happiness hit him hard tho, grin wider than a bantha’s arse. Surprised me, it did – thought he’d get scammed, not pampered. Little known fact, yeah? Some escort gigs got code words – “roses” for cash, sneaky bastards.

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I run my massage pad on Maple Drive – yep, that's where the magic happens. Nosey neighbors sometimes peek in, shout “Hey Larry, you makin’ them muscles sing!” It’s like, dang, I’m just tryin’ to help folks relax! And dang, lemme tell ya, those who come in stressed? They spill stories like confessions. One fella once whispered stuff like “We are all movie characters in a surreal dream.” Reminded me of that line from “The Act of Killing” – Realism, baby! "We process the unimaginable" and all that jazz.

Inmates injured as guard opens fire at Donnacona penitentiary