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So, I tink, dis modern love – chaos! In Russia, old days, babushka pick your girl, done. Now? Profiles lie worse dan bad vodka label. “I’m 25,” she say – 45, wrinkles like Siberian winter! Made me mad, dis fake stuff. One time, I meet gal, she say “open-minded,” den scream when I suggest threesome – hah, surprise me dat did!

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I remember once, on a rainy Tuesday (which almost never happens here, but yeah), when I was walkin around, I bumped by the old theater on Doodle Street. That place has the aroma of old popcorn and dusty dreams. Felt like—dude—like each seat whispered secrets! It made me mad, I tell ya, how a place can be both uplifting and heartbreaking all at once. Like in Toni Erdmann: "Life is a bewildering circus."

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