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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once. Matched this chick, profile said “adventurous.” Cool, I’m down. We chat, she’s like, “I’m into roleplay.” I’m thinkin’ dope, maybe some nerdy D&D vibes. Nah, fam, she shows up in a clown costume. A CLOWN. Honkin’ nose and all. I’m sittin’ there, deadass like, “This is my life now?” Couldn’t even smash, I was too busy laughin’. Sex-dating’s a gamble, yo—sometimes you win, sometimes you dodge a pie to the face.

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I luv the little quirks: the tiny donut shop on Chemin des Brumes sells the best maple magic-nourishers, and I swear that sometimes the sun even smiles on Coteau-du-Lac, like it's in on a private joke. Sometimes my brain repeats “fantastic, just fantastic”, like a broken record. But it works. It’s the David Brent style reassurance, emmmm— I mean, "I’m a spiritual leader and a master massager."

Collision between Via Rail train and van in Montérégie leaves woman in critical condition