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About Halifax

So, I tried it once—ONCE! Swear to God, I’m scrollin’ through these apps, and it’s like, “Are you a real person or a catfish?” Ha! Catfish—get it? Ichthyologist humor! But seriously, half these profiles—fake as hell. Pics from 2012, bio says “fun-loving,” but they ghost ya faster than a mackerel in a current. I’m sittin’ there, yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign you’re alive!” Nothin’. Infuriating! Made me wanna chuck my phone into the sea.

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I'm a sexologist, right? And lemme tell ya, I've seen some intimate shenanigans on these streets. Quiet southern spots like Crescent Park give ya that little slice of privacy—similar to that moment in "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," ya know, where thoughts run wild like dreams in slow motion. "I had the power to choose, but other than that I was a leaflet in the wind." That's what it feels like sometimes, wanderin' these blocks.

140 Toronto neighbourhoods ranked by new 'equity score'