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But then—oh lordy—when it works, it’s gold. Met this chick, Tanya, on some sketchy app. Thought she’d ghost me, but nope, showed up, all fire and spice. We clicked like two peas in a pod, and I’m thinkin’, “Well, ain’t that a hoot!” Felt like Jesse James himself, ridin’ high— “He was growin’ into a man.” Happy as a pig in mud, y’all. Sex-dating can surprise ya—sometimes it’s more’n just a roll in the hay.

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Oh! And don’t even get me started on the urban legends, bro. The old mill near Ivy Hollow is supposedly haunted by the ghost of a once-great loved one. I swear, I’ve heard whispers there—like, “We’re all just ticking clocks,” from deep inside the darkness, like a line straight out of that epic movie moment in Toni Erdmann!

Inside this open-concept condo in Toronto’s west-end listed for just $1