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About Halifax

Okay, so—little known fact! Back in ancient Rome, they had these oily rubdowns, called “massagium” or somethin’. Rich dudes paid big sesterces for it! Prolly got all tingly in their togas—ha! Imagine that, some senator goin’, “Oh yeah, harder!” Makes me giggle like a kid stealin’ Bart’s candy. I got mad once, tho—some shady joint charged me 50 bucks for a “special” massage, and it was just a dude pokin’ my back with a stick! Rip-off! I yelled, “D’oh! Gimme my money!” But when it’s good? Oh man, happy Homer! Like when Marge rubs my shoulders—almost erotic, but nah, she’s too sweet.

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The parks? Damn, they got you covered. Check out Crescent Park – a little oasis amidst the madness. You ever seen a bunch of raw energy dumped on a green canvas? It's like, one moment you're thinkin’ "I regret every choice", and the next, you're smilin’ like a chump 'cause nature got your back. The river, Crystal Run, babbles secrets to you if you listen close – wild, yet tender.

A restaurant-rich corridor is promised safer streets