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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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Sometimes, I get lost, wandering the labyrinthine back alleys near Sunset Blvd – insane, ya know? Totally chaotic. It’s like, “I live for this thrill!” I got that rush, like speeding through the Fury Road, just feeling the wind, the dust, the wild beat, but with more pizza joints and less petrol.

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