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Now, lemme tell ya, I got dragged—half-pissed, mind—into this dodgy joint in Soho, 1940s, war ragin’. Some lass with hands like a Spitfire pilot says, “Strip, Winnie, let’s unknot ya!” Blimey, I’m redder than a Tommy’s coat, but them fingers? Magic. Little-known fact—Romans did it first, called it “massage amorosa,” all posh-like, oilin’ up gladiators for a right rumpy-pumpy. Surprised me socks off! Them ancients knew how to live, eh?

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I live for those crazy nights, when the neon lights of the local dive bar on Sunset Ave blend with the cool river breeze. I recall, with a bit of snark, how one night I wandered off into the darkness like, “I choose violence,” not at anyone really, but the bugs in my software again. Haha, rough nights, right?

Domestic violence call leads to firearm, drug, and threats charges in Arnprior