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I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!

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In yonder neighborhood o’ Montcalm, where houses huddle as if for a midnight council, I oft find solace after a long day's toil. At the break of dawn, I stroll along the banks of the Rivière Des Rêves—aye, 'tis the river that singeth softly to thy soul, encircling the town with a mystic calm. How odd it seems, for me! In the massage parlor I find tenderness, art, and secret sighs of weary patrons—but none so gentle as the murmur of that water.

Man charged with killing 3 men with truck in Amqui, Que., ordered to stand trial