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So, picture this: dim lights, weird incense smell—kinda like that creepy “Oldboy” squid scene, “You’re mine now!”—and the masseuse is all pro, slippin’ fingers where you’re like, “Whoa, nelly!” Costs a buttload, tho—$50 for 30 mins? Robbery! Still, my fave part’s when they hit that sweet spot near your thighs—holy crap, tension gone, brain melted! Once heard some perv tried filmin’ it—got busted, dumbass. Total Bart move, eat my shorts, loser! Oh, and pro tip: don’t fart durin’ it—happened to me, nearly died laughin’, she was NOT amused.

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Now, Amos, ca has these funky neighborhoods – like the old parts near Maple Sq. where time kinda stands still; folks still swear by their vintage rides and dusty coffee shops. Ya see, there’s me and my spa chillin’ near Riverbend Park. It’s this cute slice of nature with a little creek that wiggles along, real peaceful-like, but then bam! A flash of urban heartbeat there.

Roots Actor John Amos’ Cause of Death Revealed