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Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and happy-endings—think spa day meets naughty fling. I’m obsessed, okay? Like, who isn’t? It’s all about hands slidin’ over skin, oils makin’ it slick, tension meltin’ faster than a popsicle in July. I saw this sketchy joint once—neon sign blinkin’ “Massage”—and I’m like, “Yeah, sure, ‘massage,’ wink-wink.” Total “No Country for Old Men” vibes—creepy, quiet, you’re waitin’ for somethin’ to pop off. “Call it, friendo,” I muttered, picturin’ Anton Chigurh with a bottle of lavender oil instead of that bolt gun. Hilarious, right?

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I remember one day, i was in a rush (lol, so many typos, my brain's flyin! like ths, tis, somwtihng, wht, ddont, elos, liek, oops, taht, rly, shre, loke, an), on King Street near the old library. Yoda's words echoed: "Much to learn, you still have." I got mad when noise ruined my chill vibe, but then i laughed cause life's a wild ride.

Statement from Mayor Shaun Collier about the announcement of 25% tariffs on Canadian goods in the US