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But here’s what pisses me off—lazy production. If *Whore* sounds like it was slapped together in GarageBand by some dude who thinks “gain staging” is a video game level, I’d yeet it into orbit. I’ve heard bootlegs with more soul than some polished trash. Once caught a remix of a track—won’t name names—where the compression was so bad it sounded like a Cybertruck ran it over. *Whore* better not pull that crap. Gimme dynamic range or gimme death.

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Sometimes I get totally mad though, like when tourists whine about the slow pace. Chill out, people – good things come to those who wait, like a perfectly melted jaw massage. Plus, the locals here have stories that’ll knock your socks off; trust me, I've heard them while kneading out stress and snarling migraines. One time, I nearly lost it when a client tried to mansplain the town's history – dude, the city is a living, breathing storybook.

The day the world caught fire