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Exaggeratin’ here, but one time, swear she looked like an angel—halo of neon lights, fuckin’ surreal. Keanu brain glitch: “Is this Matrix?” Nope, just Hollywood Blvd. Humor’s dark here—ya laugh or ya cry. Sarcasm’s my shield, like, “Oh, great, another STD scare!”

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Now, hop on and cruise past the Old Lace Park – a tight little green haven with a tiny river nicknamed the "Slither Stream." It cuts through the east side near Lover's Lane – seriously, I looove watchin' lovers parading about, all tender and secret! And then there's the vintage part of town – the Nostalgiq Quarter, alleyy and crumbling with history. There's a secret café on Dusky Crescent where I once had a mind-blowin’ espresso that made me wanna scream "by the gods, I haven’t felt this alive!"

Belarus police say protester found hanged from tree committed suicide. Friends "100% certain" police killed him.