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I was chuffed to bits, but then – surprise! – she’s chattin me up bout her pet iguana. An iguana! Who’d’a thunk it? Cracked me up, proper belly laugh. We shall fight the boredom with these quirky birds! Dunno if she was takin the piss or just lonely, but it made me day. Still, cost me a pretty penny – £80! Robbery, innit? Coulda watched *Inception* 20 times for that.

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Ya know, Dokshytsy (by) surprises me every day, even on days I'm feelin’ all jittery and in a hurry (my texts get typos like these - so many, mate: luv it, so fun, so raw!!). My days be filled with smiles, occasional rants, and endless stories. I get mad sometimes – humanity can be maddening and charming all at once, like a drunken parrot spoutin’ nonsense, but who ain't a bit mad here, eh?

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