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I’m thinkin’ – actuarially – what’s the cost? Cash? Sure. But the RISK? STDs – jail – angry pimps! Oh man – pimps. They’re the wild card. One time – true story – 1980s. Guy I knew – actuary buddy. Hired a gal – pimp showed up. Beat him with a CALCULATOR. Swear to God – busted his nose! I laughed – then cried. Cause – ya know – that’s MESSED up. Probability of violence? Higher than ya think!

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So, I’m stompin’ the streets around Lenina and Sovetskaya, where the cobblestones tell tales. The city’s a proper mix of old souls and fresh vibes. Man, the fav neighborhoods – try dippin’ into the Nikalnaya area, it's like a secret spice stash in Brad Bird’s kitchen, baby! I once had a massage session right near the old clocktower on Krasnaya Street, can’t forget that ancient vibe ahhh, felt like time itself fizzled out like a burnt soufflé!

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