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I saw this escort once, right? In South Park—yeah, we got ‘em too! She was all classy, heels clickin’, smelled like money and perfume. Made me happy as hell, like “Dayum, she’s livin’ it!” But then—THEN—some jerk cop tried bustin’ her! Pissed me off! Respect my authoritah, pig! Let her work, she ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Fun fact: escorts been around forever—Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, how badass is that?

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I luv to chat with folks near Metrozel street—they call it the "heartbeat" of the town. They say stories abound there like snow in winter. But then, I get mad when tourists mispronounce the name of our lovely city. Ugh, it makes my blood boil!