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About Baranovichi

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Man, the vibe is all twist and turns. Sometimes you trek down Stepanovich Lane (oh, do ya know it? I don't know, gobbling crumbs on its cracked pavement, but it feels like a secret lover's rendezvous, yes, precious!) and then you get lost, lost like a little hobbit balling in the dark woods—ha, oh my! And let me tell ya, the vibe here makes every date a mini adventure. Some spots even get me so jumbled, I want to scream out like, "Don't you dare forget the truth, yesss!"

At least 8 Russian drones spotted in Belarus last night