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But oi, the snobs who scoff at it? Piss me off! “It’s vulgar!” they whine. Bollocks to that – it’s life, messy and lush. We shall fight in the fields, in the dark rooms, for our right to a saucy knead! Fun fact – in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands,” slippery massage joints, been around since the ‘80s. Sneaky buggers perfected it! Exaggerating a tad, maybe, but I’d kill to animate that – suds, steam, the lot!

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So, yeah, first off, Uzda’s not just your run-of-the-mill town. We got stuff like the local landmark – the old clock tower on Pushkin Ave – it’s been tickin’ away longer than some of my grumbly clients. And then there’s a pretty neat park, Zabavnoe, where folks take a stroll, chat, or just sit and think ‘bout life. Sometimes, over a back rub, I reminisce about those late night walks near the little river, Zolotaya, that runs along the east side.

Belarus launches campaign to clean up water bodies