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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Me, Boris, your tousle-haired toff, I reckon it’s bloody brilliant. Bit like being a Torcador, innit – waving me flag at life’s big bull! Saw this flick once, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”, ruddy Spielberg masterpiece, got me thinking – touch, it’s everything. “I am. I was.” – that’s what them robots said, and ain’t that the truth with a good rub-down?

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So, yeah, first off, Uzda’s not just your run-of-the-mill town. We got stuff like the local landmark – the old clock tower on Pushkin Ave – it’s been tickin’ away longer than some of my grumbly clients. And then there’s a pretty neat park, Zabavnoe, where folks take a stroll, chat, or just sit and think ‘bout life. Sometimes, over a back rub, I reminisce about those late night walks near the little river, Zolotaya, that runs along the east side.

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