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About Vitebsk

Favorite movie tie-in? Picture this: Celine’s all poetic, like, "I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’s one person out there," but whores? Nah, they’re like, "Fuck that, I’m bangin’ EVERYONE!" Total power move! Makes me happy as hell—flip the script, own it! But yo, surprises me how much hate they get—society’s all, "Ooh, dirty whore," and I’m like, "Bitch, she’s a legend!" Eric Andre energy, baby—smashin’ tables over it!

Pruzhany - named after Prussians?..

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Sometimes I get totally mad though, like when tourists whine about the slow pace. Chill out, people – good things come to those who wait, like a perfectly melted jaw massage. Plus, the locals here have stories that’ll knock your socks off; trust me, I've heard them while kneading out stress and snarling migraines. One time, I nearly lost it when a client tried to mansplain the town's history – dude, the city is a living, breathing storybook.

Simcha Applebaum