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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

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There’s a local café on Sobornaya st. where I chill and giggle at my own jokes. It's a vibe, for real. People here are mix-matched, quirky souls just fusing bad days into good laughs, and sometimes, they even say, "R2-D2, where are you?" like a silly code. I swear, it’s our own little inside joke.

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