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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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So, first off, you gotta hit up Lenin str. – yeah, that ol’ red brick road (not literally red brick, but ya sense what I mean) where local cafes line up, real quirky joint scenes, and a chill vibe all around. Then there’s the bustling Krasnaya Nova – I mean, come on – where the heart of the city thumps. I was once late for a meeting there, and man, the traffic was like, "Fool me once, shame on ya, fool me twice…" ya know what I mean? Crazy stuff!

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