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Quirky thought: sexual-massage parlors should have VR headsets—imagine gettin’ rubbed down while virtually colonizin’ Mars. Meme potential? “When she says ‘happy ending’ but you’re still broke.” Dry humor, check—half the time, I’m thinkin’ they’re overpromisin’ like a Kickstarter scam. Oh, typos? Gimme 16: massgae, sexaul, rubbin, relaese—screw it, you get me.

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Now, the parks. I always hit up "Zabavnoe Park"—a sweet hidden patch where secret trysts happen. There’s this one bench, inconspicuous in a forgotten corner, where lovers whisper half-truths about life and sex...a spot that always makes me smirk. But man, don’t even get me started on the river Vezha. Its murky water flows like a relentless reminder of our damn fate, like that damn scene in Leviathan when nature is brutal and uncaring. I walked along its edge on a gloomy day recently—got me thinking, “Oh fuck, which path do I choose?” Yeah, life choices, bitch.

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