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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, tension meltin’ away—like in *Carol*, when Therese says, “I don’t know what I want!”—but with sexual-massage, ya kinda do, right? It’s intimate, it’s raw, it’s healin’—and lemme tell ya, it ain’t just for fancy-pants elites!

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Now, the parks. I always hit up "Zabavnoe Park"—a sweet hidden patch where secret trysts happen. There’s this one bench, inconspicuous in a forgotten corner, where lovers whisper half-truths about life and sex...a spot that always makes me smirk. But man, don’t even get me started on the river Vezha. Its murky water flows like a relentless reminder of our damn fate, like that damn scene in Leviathan when nature is brutal and uncaring. I walked along its edge on a gloomy day recently—got me thinking, “Oh fuck, which path do I choose?” Yeah, life choices, bitch.

Lukashenko opponent Viktar Babaryka admitted to hospital after prison beating