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Gets me proper buzzin’, this does. Last week, went for one – dodgy parlour down Slough, right? Bloke says, “Full release, guv?” I’m like, “Steady on, I’m not that corporate!” Laughed me head off, but mate, the tension just melted. Shoulders like concrete, then – poof – soft as a baby’s bum. Thing is, yeah, it’s not just rude bits action. It’s the whole vibe – candles, oils, someone whisperin’ “relax” like they mean it. Surprised me, that. Thought it’d be all wham-bam, but nah, it’s dead gentle. “A cart rattles, life drags” – not after this, mate!

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Oh, and let me tell you about one of my fav dive bars, "The Rusty Screw." Not even the fancy ones here can compare. It's dim, smells like spilled beer and regrets, but the conversations there? Pure gold. I’ve soaked in stories of forbidden love and twisted affairs that would make Dr. House proud—sarcastic, biting, but with a tender core. I’d go there to decompress—hell, even a sexologist gets his kicks somewhere!

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